Melissa is a fibber

I fibbed.

I told a great big fib.

And so, I officially retract my previous statements about never using Twitter (insert full body shudder here). All this time, I have been “talk to the hand-ing” Twitter, and it turns out I have been TWEETING all along, thanks to some inter-webby link that I didn’t know existed.

Anyway, I apologise. It was never my intention to deceive you all. And I fully intend to make things right. I am even learning how the Twitterverse works, so that I can tweet Elizabeth Hurley and beg her to read my book really take full advantage of this social media tool.


As a start, I have a gift for all those out there who are twitterfraid, like I was.

Below, is all you need to know about Twitter. The Formal Definitions as well as my shortened version:

TWITTER: an online social networking service and microblogging (see previous posts for definition of blog) service that enables its users to send and read text-based messages of up to 140 characters, known as “tweets”.
Melissa’s Definition: Scary place. Very big.

TWEET: A post on Twitter
Melissa’s Definition: 140 characters of unbreakable code

@ : the necessary marker for the system to recognize when you’re talking to someone and therefore alert them of the mention.
Melissa’s definition: The symbolic equivalent of “Yo!”

imagesCANUUL9D# (HASH TAG): When coupled together with a word or phrase, it helps to produce a sentiment that could be regarded at the theme of the tweet itself without all the extra characters.
Melissa’s Definition: What does that EVEN mean???

RT: Retweet – broadcasting someone else’s message.
Melissa’s definition: Copy & Paste

imagesCAR46071DM: Direct Message – the only private way for two users to communicate.
Melissa’s Definition: Getting a room

Now, as to the abbreviations! I have only just gotten used to the Facebook LOL, LMAO, OMG, ROTFL, etc, and now I discover this…. Twitter, in its uniqueness, has a language all of its own. Here are a few to guide me you along:
TBH: To be honest
OH: Overheard (HOW do you overhear something on Twitter???)
ICYMI: In case you missed it
SMH: Shaking my head
TL;DR: Too long, didn’t read (Ooh, I’m sensing I might get a lot of these, due to inter-webby thingy linking very long FB statuses)

There you have it! Twitter 101… you can thank me later!

And seeing as I am now officially part of the Twitterverse, could you maybe….


I’d really appreciate it, y’all!


Added 4 hours later:

Twitter is SO ON TO ME. Just got this in my mail! Specially selected, they say.. don’t tell your friends, they say. So just say you OH it 😉







  • Patti Upton Maher

    Now if I just knew how one goes about opening a twitter account and using it I would follow you on twitter. This post is so funny – loved it.

  • cupcakemummy

    Had a brilliant laugh!
    Felt the same when I first started using twitter, and I so just went and tweeted you now to test out your skills 😉
    Just a heads up: SMH can also stand for “so much hate”

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